Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Watch Out.... W*I*L*D Woman at Large

I fully intended this post to be about my new journals, my listing on Etsy and Ebay or the ever growing market garden look of all my window sills and back garden, due to my desperate urge to ‘grow my own’ this year….however things never quite work out exactly as we intend sometimes and the events over the last week have caused me to blog about something quite different. The above posts will have to wait….at least for the time being, while I slip off quietly and have a nervous breakdown lol. During the last week I did flippantly comment to a friend as to why theres never a bloke around when you need one, but then followed it up quickly with….not like a bloke would be any use whatsoever in this situation….but at least he could hand feed me grapes and fill my glass with wine and perhaps make the situation a little bit lighter???? As it happens I have a very close male friend who would be delighted to indulge me in times of crisis, and all the above comments are made tongue in check and in no way distract or take away from the truly lovely, supportive, relationship we have together.
Anyway…. My post for what it’s worth……hope it brings more than a little smile to your lips……


I suppose I brought it on myself really… I went for my smear, which I H*A*T*E having done and was long overdue. The resulting conversation with the doctor about the ‘Change’ threw light on more than one symptom that I never even associated with the change! So it’s probably a blessing that I went. Among other things she discussed my impending ‘emotional outbursts’ as perfectly normal during this time (funny I thought this was just being part of being a Goddess). The conversation that followed would be enough to send any normal thinking female heading for the hills and not come out till it was over….which I have been assured could be another 5 YEARS !!!! Well, I openly bragged….Hmmmm that’s funny, I think it’s a state of mind… I’ve actually found quite the opposite and I’m much calmer and much more amicable, but there again I got rid of the pain in the asse that was likely to fuel the situation rather than empathise with it! And gave her a sweet grin. She smiled back…. Was that a smile of sympathy or some kind of inner knowing I wonder. Anyway, I just had to be made aware that my emotions would be up and down and round and round and this would be perfectly ‘normal’.
Weight normal and haven’t put a pound on in 20 years! (mind y9u… seems like THAT could change… or so I’m told), blood pressure perfect…. PERFECT! Well I’m glad something about me is!, Results in 2 weeks, me having a big smile on my face (of mild amusement) and relieved that I had finally got round to the test and all being well, fingers crossed and much spell working, that’s it for another 4 years.
I thought that was the end of the story… Oh how often I open my big fat mouth then up pops my fairy God Mother or more to the point nasty little rickety witch from high to show me different…EVERY TIME!
The time has finally come. My son is getting married this weekend to his long term girlfriend Sarah (the daughter I never had). Everything seemed sorted, people had offered to help out left right and centre…. With only a week to go and over a Bank Holiday when no one can really do much about anything, ‘we’ (and I use this collective term for the close family’s involved) seemed to turn from calm, peaceful, go with the flow, laid back cos everything’s sorted, and in hand, to trying not to get stressed out but spanners in the works for one reason or another and the result of which I can only liken to a house of cards on a table and the table being hurled upwards at great speed towards the sky. Perhaps I exaggerate but it certainly felt like the walls of the temple were falling. As anyone who has ever been married knows, or even more to the point anyone who has ever had one of their kids marry….well, you will know what I mean. Resulting phone calls to stop my daughter in law being upset caused great offence, when they weren’t meant to, tempers flew freely and rapidly and we seemed to argue about the smallest of things… minor details really.
The result is, the wedding is now 3 days away, there is very little we can do about the things we have no effect on. I have had to date 3 ‘outbursts’ on the phone and one near miss, 3 sessions of sobbing into my hands and 2 VERY sleepless nights. Lol. All perhaps made worse by the fact I live alone and my don’t we blow things up out of all proportion when we live alone and have no one to bounce off or reassure us when we need it.
Still, in the scheme of things, the problems that occurred can be sorted, the ones that can’t will not worry us, we are determined to have a great day and we are so looking forward to it. Ironically, the very symptoms the doctor described as been typical of the menopause…. Everyone else seemed to have them too. Now either this is catching, people are coming out in sympathy or the emotional rollercoaster during ‘the change’ is a load of baloney and a perfectly natural reaction to stress! I still remain unconvinced…. Men have these symptoms too…well some of them! In men they call it MID LIFE CRISIS! Lol.
The wonderful thing about these reactions, no matter how justified you feel they are at the time, are the very ones that you think are funny and reflect on later on in life, generally with a big grin on your face. In the grand scheme of things there really is very little to loose the plot over and tonight we were all laughing about how ridiculously the smallest things get out of hand and feel like mountains.
Now just in case it IS the change and I have got it all wrong….please stand well back and give me a wide berth…. !”£…..breath in peace…..hold……breath out negativity…..Pffffffff (or words to that effect), use the technique as often as necessary. DO NOT stand close, assume a defensive pose and inflame the situation!!!!! Because it’s just possible (the Doctor told me so) that, this little pixie may just show a side of her that doesn’t come out to play very often :o)

Hmmmmm……I feel a quote coming on....

God/dess give me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference!

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