Calligraphy as a Spiritual Based Art Form

I, as well as many others are having great difficulty uploading pictures to Blogger tonight. I will therefor post my blog and upload the photos tomorrow when hopefully the server problems will be sorted out.
It's a long post, and I'm sure I'll add to it over the time.

Happy Birthday Edward Johnston - Our Granddaddy of Calligraphy... Hmmmmm an Aquarius! No surprises there then. Those who have read his biography by his daughter Prissila will know what I mean! lol.
Lovely, unassuming, gentle soul who just wanted to revive the Art of Calligraphy. Modern day calligraphers owe everything to him. And it's also Charles Darwins birthday too.... another Aquarius! and errrr for the record....Did you know Abraham Lincoln's birthday? lol

Anyway, on with the post....

Calligraphy as a Spiritual Based Art Form

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a long time. It’s something that is close to my heart and I ponder over time and time again. I have no answers to this, I only know what Calligraphy as a Spiritual Based Art Form means for me.

I’m going back come years now. It was my first venture into the big wide world, where I could meet other calligraphers and see their work. It was Lay Members Day of the Society of Scribes and Illuminators in London.
The guest speaker was a guy called Brody Neuenschwander. He was very smart, very hood looking and VERY well spoken. He dressed in a suit and a tie and his fingers looked like they had never even seen a pot of ink, let alone written any words. As most calligraphers know, you never wear white or dress in anything other than clothes you would normally not be seen dead in! Wearing decent clothes can almost guarantee that the pot of ink or pallet of Gouache will fly off your desk or board, almost with a mind of its own and launch itself over you at the rate of knots.
Although he talked a little about letterform, he was more interested in trying to get across the flow and movement of ink across a page. A gentle, graceful movement which had freedom while retaining the underlying meaning of the word. He likened letters to a dance, or music, where the beat and the rhythm formed part of the whole. Like skaters on ice, preparing for the end performance, each twist and turn in itself amazing, but the scores at the end were given on these movements put together. He encouraged us to practice a little every day, reminding us that concert pianists don’t just turn up, play than go home again. Their music was their life, and daily they would practice scales and music scores, so that the music became naturally and effortlessly, with no-one but the musician aware of the hard work put in behind the scenes. At the time and as a practically new beginner struggling to make my letters proportional never mind anything else, this meant absolutely nothing to me….. at the time.

Through a strange series of events I learnt to meditate. These events were the need to slow down, the need to learn to relax, as a form of visualisation (to diminish cancer) and along with the joining of a Yoga class. The Yoga teacher also went into the philosophy of health, healing, diet and the spiritual aspects of what we were doing. I was fascinated and probably through reading books on Chinese and Indian ways of thinking, my mind had been opened. I then attended a Buddhist weekend on Happiness of all things, and studied Buddhism as well and also looked at mysticism. Each path opened my mind more and more to the alternative cultures and lifestyles as well as religions around the world. I also studied Western and Eastern Writing and the connection between Spirituality and Calligraphy was born. Chinese and Islamic calligraphy is written with ‘spirit’. Each piece of a work is a meditation in itself. The work is created in honour of the god/s. Each mark made with either a brush or a pen is made from the inside of the creator and transferred to the paper or vellum, to convey the meaning of that ‘spirit’ to the reader. All this was making sense to me. I listened to music while writing. I found Pan Pipe music or New World type music would help me loose myself and during a large piece of work I was somewhere else. The pieces were finished almost without me actually being there, as if someone else had done them. I worked like this for many years and continued to learn from the Philosophers, teachers and sages who have existed over the years. I wrote down quotations that ‘spoke to me’ at that time. Quotations that I felt either motivated me or sat comfortable inside me, as if it were my inner truth. This made creating work all the more poignant and honest. I knew that through touching my heart it would also touch others. To this day, I’m still an avid collector of Truths!

Then pan forward a few years. I went on a long weekend workshop by Anne Hechle. On the first night we had a lecture. She showed a slide show of he travels in India, where she backpacked and had very little money. She slept on the flat roofs of buildings and slept under the stars. She talked more of her experience than of her calligraphy.
The next few days we learnt about ‘Sacred Geometry’. Some of it so hard to grasp that we didn’t really connect with what she was trying to say. We spent 3 days on ‘Sacred Geometry’ and as for calligraphy….it was hardly mentioned. But there lies a story, because once you have grasped it, everything else just falls into place. It’s our connection to everything, it’s placement on a page, it’s architecture, nature, man, science….. and all part of the bigger picture… Oh if I knew then what I know now! I really must make an effort to contact her again.
So really it’s rare that a Western calligrapher can make that connection between their work and their spirituality. I do. And I’m sure by now you’re thinking what is this girl on? What is she talking about? Is she for real? Or barking mad?

But consider this…..The bibles written by the monks were created in tiny cells with only candle light for company. Their gilding is exquisite, their paints ground from gemstones and mixed with binders, their vellum prepared painstakingly and then the binders making the covers out of wood and covering them with more vellum before decorating them with precious stones. Each one a piece of art in itself. Each one created in a slow and meditative manner, copied out by hand and bound so expertly that many of them still exist today and are as beautiful as the day they were created, by monks in solitary cells, which were cold and poorly lit, but it was their calling or mission to spread the word. There was no need to painstakingly decorate the pages with their finely drawn animals, birds, carpet pages and such like. If it was just the word they were trying to spread surly the lettering would have been enough in itself. No I believe that they were trying to capture the essence of something far deeper. The illuminators were the artists of their day. Each one had their own way of doing things. Throughout a manuscript you can see (ever so slightly) the many different artists that had left their mark on the pages. Sometimes two or three in one book, bringing the whole thing to life, a true connection between Spirituality and Calligraphy.

Today, Western Calligraphers need to connect more to the spirit of what’s inside us, in order to transfer that message to others.

Full Moon, Teaching Calligraphy and Family Day

The Moon, some real Stars

and my Son....and my Daughter-in-Law

Well, I promised this post last night and intended to write this sooner, but last night was the full moon and there was no sign of her, but tonight it’s crisp outside and the sky is clear… So I just had to take yet another picture of her in all her glory. It’s just part of the Pixies weirdness, photographing full moons…. Oh yes and rainbows. I think I have this innate fear that I perhaps will never see one again? I don’t know, perhaps it’s a sign of madness, but then most artists are a bit…. Er shall we say….’odd’….. the perfect get out clause I think.



I had a wonderful weekend. I haven’t felt the need to go out over winter at all, it’s been too cold and I’ve been too busy, planning, lots and lots of things, reading books (I never thought I would get through so many!) and creatively my minds been on overload, FANTASTIC!

I was booked to teach North Yorkshire Calligraphers. The subject and title was up to me, so I offered to teach a workshop and entitled it ‘The WOW Factor’. Now I have to say here, that these calligraphers are well experienced not brand new beginners and I have the pleasure of being their President (although I neglect them badly!) and in my opinion don’t deserve the title.

I was greeted by the new chairman, Alan Ditchburn, who immediately shouted everyone to get a camera as it was probably the first and only time the Chairman and President were going to be seen together (meaning what? Lol) I knew then that our sense of humour was the same and we were all in for a great day. The old familiar faces turned up one by one and everyone was pleased to see me.
SPECIAL NOTE: (old….oh that sounds like they are ancient! – I meant old in the way of I have known some of them 20 years!)
When I teach any calligraphy class, the first hurdle to get over is their lack of confidence, in both themselves and their abilities and capabilities. I discussed with them the need to let go and relax and as always sort out the inside in order to work on the outside. I think its amazing how many artists these days need to work through personal issues, look inside themselves and look at self improvement books and motivational books (Yes including me!) in order to release their Creative Spirits. Many years ago now I bought a copy of The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. (I also own The Vein of Gold also by Julia) It is a 13 week programme of Awareness, both artistically and creatively. You very soon find that when you’ve worked on the inside, what comes through your art is more true to yourself and the barriers drop. Most of it is just giving yourself permission to just ‘do’. Before getting creative, calligraphers need to go through the tedious, structure of formal lettering. Formal letters ensure that we know the rules, As the late great Granddad of calligraphy Edward Johnston said:Rules are only there to ensure good practice, once we have gained mastery by practice, we should form our own rules. Here here!

Well, as per usual, the day went too quickly, they worked hard and were without complaint…. A bit unruly at times, especially from the boys table, but teacher kept them all in check, even the new boy in the class…. If the poor guy ever comes back it will be a miracle! Lol. No really at the end of the day, calligraphers have the most wonderful and daft sense of humour. This can very easily get out of hand and encouragement is not usually needed. Summer Schools seem to be classic examples of this, where I have seen people drawing and painting great big affirmations and quotations on their clothes, bodies and anywhere else they can put letter, I’ve seen people try to gild eyelids (MINE if I remember correctly!)…. And all other manner of fun and frolics. Were a mad and crazy bunch, who have a passion for the written word, philosophers, spiritual teachers, and many other things that float their boat, but they also have a deep sense of caring, friendliness, spirituality and calmness. If you want a hobby that goes from the sublime to the ridiculous, but will take you around 10 years to become anywhere near competent,

LEARN CALLIGRAPHY!

Although there were 20 calligraphers, and most of them unaware of my nick name of the Purple Pixie....quite a few of them turned up in PURPLE! Even the Chairman....I told them there was no need for school uniform.... but flattered all the same! lol

The above is the serious photograph....and below? Well, no comment!
They turned out a fantastic amount of work considering they had to learn the technique from scratch. I told them they should get them banged in frames and non would look out of place in an exhibition. I'm sure you'll agree.

Sunday.....It was my daughter-in-law to be's birthday the week before and was to be going out for a meal with the family on the Saturday. Sadly they let her down and I couldn't go because of the teaching...so we went on Sunday instead. we spent a wonderful family day together. My son first took me to a huge Craft Warehouse and we spent over and hour (closer to 2 hours!!!!) in there. he's very artistic too so we were like kids in a sweet shop, poor Sarah couldn't really understand what we were getting all excited about. I did offer to buy her a kit, but she declined gracefully. lol. However we did surprise her with a 3 course meal (she thought that we were just grabbing something from McDonalds- hehehe). The food was fantastic, relaxed and best of all, we spent some well needed family time together.

And to end this post.....Venus, the LURVE sign can be seen clearly in the sky to the West at the moment. My son has seen it but unfortunately it's been a starless few nights. The sky to the West is obliterated by an obscene amount of floodlights lighting up the hospital like it was daylight. Tonight we had a power cut, the second today, and I did think I'd get the chance to see it while the sky was black without all the damn light polution, but I didn't. I tell you, once you are out in a field with no street lights, it's absolutely amazing how many stars you can see. there should be a law against street lights, the solution is easy....Downlighters! They do it in County Durham.

More Calligraphic Concertinas

Blimey, what a mad and crazy few weeks this is turning out to be! Lol. Work has gone crazy and there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. I remember my mum saying to me….By heck, once ya get the my age, time flies….Of course I never believed her, but now I’m beginning to get the idea.

Somehow the week only just starts and we’re already at the weekend, then quick as a flash it’s Monday again.

Work and despite the so called depression and credit crunch (although I still don’t believe there is one and think it’s all part of the governments ‘fear’ plan) has come in think and fast.

I’m adding some pictures to my blog before people think it’s a figment of my imagination. Quite bizarre though, that the minute I focus on new ideas and an exhibition, commissions come and prevent me going anywhere with them…. For the time being. Anyway, the exhibition was to raise my profile (it’s some years since my last one!) and to generate some cash flow, but now with plenty of commissions it will have to take a back burner at least for a while.

The first is a Valentine Card

from a wife to her husband.

Hence the rather, earthy browns....

The next set of pictures is for my personal astrologer and long time buddy, aka - Simon Greene.

It was his birthday last week and I thought that the Les Brown Quotation,

Shoot for the moon,

even if you miss,

you'll land among the stars,

Very apt, firstly because of the moon and star connection

but also as a way of affirming that I believe in him, I'm right behind him and I know he has the capability to do the thing he wants to do and should GO FOR IT! He's one of my closest friends and a great, gentle spirited guy, and he deserves to have his dreams come true. He's also an Aquarian, which is my rising sign, so I always have someone that at least understands the spiritual guff that I sometimes come out with. lol.

The cover was made from that beautiful Tanabata, which is sprinkled with gold and silver squares and the stars and silver continue through the inside of the book.....and YES, I know my pencil guides are still on there....I did rub them out before I sent it.....errrmmm... I think???? lol
This is the concertina fully open.... very effective, very stunning....

I had a really exhausting but fantastic weekend, The photos are downloaded and ready for the Blog, but this Purple Pixie is shattered and really needs her feather quilt and sleep, so I'm off for an early (yeah right 23.40 early!).... well earlier night, and all being well I'll blog about the weekend tomorrow night.

Old Work, worked New, and New Work Worked!

New A3 Print for sale!

Buying an A3 printer was definitely a good move. Sometimes, A4 prints when reduced from an original A3 look quite different when scaled down. A good and satisfying layout can look wrong and out of place when made smaller. A lot of my larger work is done on A3 and for the extra cost of the paper it’s well worth printing as a size for size copy.

This print is a reworked piece that I did quite some time ago. Although the original is lovely and I’m really happy with it, I wanted to do it again (possibly to see how really bad my lettering is now my visual impairment is an issue). I love this quote and was happy with how it turned out. Quite a boost to the confidence to realise that it’s not as bad as I thought.
The Mark Twain quotation is a particular favourite of mine and teaches us to ‘Take risks and throw caution to the wind, that you have no time for regrets and you need to just go for it!.
it reads:

20 years from now
you will be more disappointed
by the things that you didn’t do
than by the ones you did,
So throw away the bowline,
Sail away from the safe harbour
Catch the trade winds in your sails,
Explore, Dream, Discover.

I do intend to list them in my Etsy Shop, but if you would like to buy one in the meantime, please email me at: inspiredbyscript@yahoo.co.uk They will be on sale for £7.50 including P&P to mainland UK. All other countries charged at cost and you can pay through Paypal.

Below is an idea I am working on.

It’s great being a nutty artist! Ideas come to you at the most inconvenient times. Now I haven’t the distractions of a relationship, getting home to prepare meals at a set time, shopping when I have to rather than when I need to, leaving the hovering and housework if necessary, I can run with ideas so much more freely. This was an idea that I had and really want to develop it into a series, this is the first working rough. I wanted to make a card, book and signed piece of art work in one neat little gift. The idea is taking shape, but the only problem you have is that shops want something for HALF their market value, so really when selling to trade customers you have to price yourself low and then because of this it can make even the best idea totally impractical. Selling through a shop rather than selling through the artist certainly gets you more publicity, but I also think that so many artists are undervalued in their work. I mean the artist has taken time and effort to produce the goods while the shops make the same amount (more even, because the artist pays for materials) for just putting it on a shelf.
No wonder we artists are known for starving!!!! Lol.Anyway, I’ll see what happens on this one and will let you know if this idea goes any further
The card opens to reveal a book and the artwork is concealed in a pocket at the back of the book. The pocket is part of the main cover.

a New Idea

Whether or not this is actually workable or not

and if it is whether I can actually market it at a reasonable cost,

remains to be seen.

But I wanted to run with an idea that came to me.

It involved having a card, a book and a piece of art, all in one,

and on a theme. The whole thing is calligraphic/

I plan to sell them as limited editions if I do market them.

The card opens to reveal a book and the pocket at the end holds the piece of artwork which is signed on the back.

Please email me if you are interested in this product:

inspiredbyscript@yahoo.co.uk

Bollywood Theme Birthday Guest Book

This commission was for a 40th Birthday.

the theme was 'Bollywood'

This is the opening Page
I glued square, spangles on the front
to accentuate the theme

Commissions for Guest Books and Albums Undertaken

Contact: inspiredbyscript@yahoo.co.uk

or visit the website at: http://www.inspiredbyscript.co.uk

Mark Twain Quotation Poster

This is one of my favourite Quotations

Mark Twain - 20 years from now....

This is a reworked version of the original,

so that I can sell it as a print.

The A3 print is for sale for £7.50

including delivery to the UK.

For information on how to buy

If you are interested in either buying, commissioning my work

or for any other reason, please contact me at

inspiredbyscript@yahoo.co.uk

Clicking on the picture should enlarge it

if you would like to see the detail.

Framed Calligraphy Quotations

Georgia O'Keeffe Quotation

Friends Quotation
Brother Quotation

Concertina Books

The first commission is painted white lettering on black paper,

with a black Tanabats cover and tanabata added to the inside. Silver squares continue to hold the cover to the inside by being painted

randomly on the background.

This concertina is printed in hot pink on a white background

The recipients favourite colour

Calligraphy - Wedding Invitations

Wedding Invitations

Hot Pink

With embossed Heart on Front

Framed, Personalised Calligraphy

And the following 2 framed commissioned pieces are for the same client. Simple, personalised greeting, with the branded squares running through them off the paper and onto the mount. Simple yet stylish and elegant. Sadly photos in the studio under artificial light do not do them justice.

One silver....

And one gold.....
I've so much more to blog....but time is really at a premium this week, so I'll try and do a post or two per night. I apologise in advance for not replying to comments, I do read them and I really do appreciate all the comments and emails I get. It's amazing how much it keeps you going when the going gets tough! lol. Love ya all xxx

OK this Pixie is desperate for a cup of tea...and while my cat Dodger has a new party trick and can open the back door to let himself in, he hasn't quite mastered the art of making drinks yet.... Typical bloke really! but we live in hope :o)

Hand Made Concertina Books

I love, love, LOVE making concertina books. These books are also called Accordion Books or Cards, depending on where you live. They are special, personal and if you have never seen one before become a fascinating concept to those who receive them.

I made one for a 30th Birthday, Simon. In blacks and greys....just as well I had some of that Tanabata left over!

And one for my lovely daughter-in-law to be….Sarah.

I have a couple more on camera that I will add later.

Hand Bound Bollywood 40th Birthday Book

I thought I’d better blog about some of the work I’ve done over the past few weeks, before everyone thinks it’s a figment of my imagination.

Firstly, I was asked to make a 40th Birthday Book from a loving husband for his wife’s ‘Themed’ Party. He wanted it in a hurry and had quiet liked the SPECIAL MEMORIES one on my website.

As luck would have it, I had only just found a full sheet of this paper. The black Paper (called Tanabata) has silk threads running through it and has a mixture of Gold and Silver squares on it. It’s really hard to come by now, so I must admit I was relieved.

The brief was to make a book in Blacks and reds, on the theme of Bollywood.
Boolywood is very sparkly, bright colours and festive….seems like it was just down my street! Lol. But the client has never really seen my work and not having a face to face conversation can be difficult. I would love to have gone overboard on it, but really had to keep it ‘low key’ I’m sure many calligraphers and Creative bookbinders reading my blog will understand what I mean.

Anyway, here are the pictures…..

I just HAD to add these square, jewels to the front......

And continued the squares (in silver) in the inside....
Squares are a recurrent trade mark that seems to run throughout my work. Perhaps I see them as little stars? I don't know, but they get everywhere!

The Fourth Annual Brigid in the Blogosphere Poetry Slam cont.

We woke up to around 6" of soft, powdery, fluffy, magical snow this morning. The sun was shining and it was warm. What a perfect Imbolc morning it was....to welcome back the first stirrings of Spring beneath the snow. And the snow is country wide. Sadly some people didn't get to work..awwww....bloody great news I'd say! Get out there and celebrate!

Anyway.....
Below you will find links to others that are taking part in this The Fourth Annual Brigid in the Blogosphere Poetry Slam
Oh.... the Goddess of Poetry is definitely shining on us today. Thank you to everyone who took part....and the amazing thing is.... through this we have found an even larger world wide family of interesting bloggers than we had before....So welcome friends old and new, and the seeds have been sown. OK,,,, here are some links from others who have taken part....

Firstly my wonderful friend from Lancs. Ambermoggie
and her sweet hubby Mr Mog (I love you both....but you already know that) Mr. Mog, keeping the candle burning for your continued health this year. You have done so well and I'm so proud of you both under such difficult times that you've had. Blogging friends... this couple are amazing and think of everybody first. Probably 2 of the very few who think of others before themselves. They are very special to me, and have been from the first day we met. Please see Ambermoggies Elementals they are truly terrific!
Then theres Cari Ferraro, a Cyber Buddie from way, way back... probably more years than either of us would care to remember! My how time flies. Anyway, Cari is an amazing calligrapher and blends wonderfully her calligraphy and lettering art with her spiritual path. well done sweetie, your amazing! I think next year we really need to get more of those Cyberscribes on board here! Never mind, looks like we're flying the flag for them lol.
I see Moonroot hasn't posted hers yet...after getting us all roped in....little minx. But hopefully by the time you click on the link she'll have it sorted. If not post a message and pester her! lol
I see that Sunny has posted and so has Rose from Living on the Witchy Side and so has Sleepy Kitty.
The Gold Puppy had added hers, and this is where it all started: Roots Up Branches Down
There will be many more who have joined this Poetry Slam. Thanks to everyone for taking part. Bright Imbolc Blessings

The Fourth Annual Brigid in the Blogosphere Poetry Slam

OK, OK, I know I'm a day early if the date shows up....but this pixie is knackered and needs her feather bed. It's been a long day and there's much work that's been done....it's surprising how tiring dumping other peoples crap can be you know! lol. Anyway, the charity shops will benefit. Anyway.... on to the real reason why yet another post.....

A week or so ago I told you about the Poetry slam and a couple of days later about Dave Hindmarsh, I'm over the moon that I've been in touch with him and he's agreed (no actually said he would be honoured) for me to put his poem in my Blog.

I've saved it till now, in celebration of Brigid, Goddess of Inspiration and Poetry, and with grateful thanks to Dave, for agreeing to me posting this.
A beautiful poem by a beautiful, spirit.
I did the poem originally for him as a limited edition of which I hold one copy. Please post you comments and I'll pass them on. With love and Imbolc blessings to you all and to everyone who works with words.

Benevolence

Criticise constructively
Develop well founded opinions
Speak what you think
Contradict, but gently
Violently given advice will vex the spirit
The petals of the soul do close
Retreat in the heavy downpour of the rain
But willingly open and bear all
To the sublime falling dew

© Dave Hindmarsh

And I can't help myself......I just have to post this too.... I find it truly moves me, it should be the way we all run our lives and what we should aspire to. I'm sure it need no introduction, but please take time to look it over and give it some thought.....hmmmmm Namaste xxx

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann c.1920

The Power of the Goddess – Both Inside and Out From Samhain to Imbolc

The Role of the Wheel of the Yeah and

Connecting to the Goddess in my life

Below - My Inbolc Altar

Well, how crazy can life be sometimes? Work has come in thick and fast despite the recession. I sometimes wonder whether the fact we are being bombarded left right and centre with news and views that we ARE in a recession is all part of a factious rumour, I mean, tell someone something long enough and we start to believe it, right?

In the Pagan calendar SAMHAIN (October 31st) is a time of honouring the dead, our forgotten ancestors, and a time for meditating and getting rid of things no longer useful or necessary in our lives. At this time and after a meditation, I made a braid. Into this I platted the things that needed to go. I wasn’t happy particularly with what came about during the meditation. I knew a relationship that I was hanging onto had to go. I had clung on long enough believing that given enough time, understanding and love that he could change his ways, let go of his fears and become the person he truly was (or I thought he was!) But I constantly had to suffer the humiliation of someone who on a regular basis played pick me up and slam me down games with me. Still I hung on. I gave him time, and space, and still cared for him, but he could only take and not give. The relationship ended after he openly admitted (no actually he shouted at me) that he in his words ‘didn’t care’ how I felt and how painful it was for me to tell me that he was eating Christmas dinner with his ex wife! And I was not supposed to be hurt by this, as it was a sign of weakness! He called me a saddo, because I was upset that I would be eating Christmas dinner on my own rather than with the man I loved. He left telling me how much he loved me! And was looking forward to Glastonbury with me the following weekend…..Yeah right! I knew being with him was like being on a surf board, rising gently towards the crest of a wave and coming slap bang hammering down. The next morning I gave him the chance to say sorry. He didn’t he ended it swiftly and without ceremony. I realised at long last that he wasn't worth it.
I no longer had to put up with crazy emotional outbursts, banging his head off the steering wheel because he couldn’t find somewhere and blaming me, storming off in the middle of Glastonbury and leaving me to cross a busy duel carrageway by myself...yes I know I'm partially sighted, but it didn't seem to bother him! complaining of a few cat hairs on his black t-shirts, being accused of stopping him seeing his kids, not having time to read, not being allowed to eat in his car, and having to put my muddy boots in a carryer bag, on a mat, on a carpet for fear of dirt in the back of the van. No longer do I have to sit and listen to him tell me how much he couldn’t stand the people we went to camps with. Constantly criticising them, because that’s not the way he would do it or because their spiritual path was not the same as him….whatever that is. I didn’t have friends over, as he (in his words)‘wasn’t a people person’. He complained that he didn’t have time for anything because he was at my house twice a week but would sit down and eating a meal I had cooked him. He did nothing for me, unless there was something in it for him. If he cried he wanted comforting, if I cried I was weak. I was walking on egg shells, not knowing what was going to happen next with him, when this shift in personality and his alter ego and dark side would come out, it was not good to see. Sadly, the man who needed to spend more time with his children and be a real father, and who didn't need a relationship or woman by his side to lean on and who preferred his own company, Well he lasted a whole fortnight before needing another woman! WOW! lol. So he's a liar too! lol. Worst thing was, he told other friends he needed to spend more time with his kids, making out he was the doting father, so he lied to them as well. How very spiritual. Using the kids as an excuse for everything is unforgivable. He would have done better for himself perhaps if he had read some of those books and looked deep within as to why he needs to behave like that, and sadly looks like his kids are no further up the pecking order than they were before, time that can never be made up in ANY lifetime. But I somehow think he will realise it far too late. Not my problem any more :o)

I learnt that some people are so messed up, you can’t fix them, no matter how much you love them and whatever you try and you are only making things worse for yourself in the long run trying to drag someone screaming and kicking down another way of life. He had less respect for me than I have for myself. I am relieved, at peace and so much more settled and back to my old self without him. It's hard when someone needs so much emotional support but is unwilling or unable to give it back when needed.

So SAMHAIN.....

The meditation helped me realise my own fear. I had a fear of success, (because I didn’t have a supportive partner) and a fear of money. I’m not materialistic so to crave money doesn’t come easily to me. I value people over money and material things.
So I needed to let go of fear on many different levels. I no longer fear success and realise that to have a supportive partner would be nice (perhaps) but I am capable of doing it alone.

Yule (21st December) Is a time for reflection. There’s something comforting about getting home from work, closing the curtains and getting all snugly and warm in the safety and comfort of your own four walls. It’s also a great time for reading, learning and going with the flow. It wasn’t always like this…. I suffered really badly with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D) some years ago. I bought a light box and read self help books and the more I live in tune with the turning of the Wheel and realising its relevance in my life and the effect on it, the more at one I am within myself also. I’ve used this time to find out WHO I really am. What connects me to Mother Nature, what makes me tick and how easily I can just ‘be’ and go with the flow. I have read more books in the last 2 months that I have done in the last 9 years. My creativity is flying, my ideas are coming thick and fast, I am planning for future projects and I’m free to do whatever I want, whenever I want, with whoever I want….It’s a good place to be. Oh yes I’ve certainly enjoyed the Winter.

IMBOLC (February 2nd) Is a celebration of the return of the light. One where the body (and nature) starts to wake up a little bit and come out of that restful sleepy almost dead phase. Where planning starts and a renewed energy starts to flow. Ideas started in the Winter slowly start to gestate into becoming real. I have cleared my altar of the holly and it will be burnt along with memories from the past that need to be put to rest. Winter isn’t a great time for clearing out the cobwebs, but at Imbolc we start to look forward to the return of the sun, brighter warmer days and with the optimism of things made new. I’ve cleared some clutter (especially clutter that doesn’t belong to me) and old worn out things I no longer need around me. My altar is renewed in honour of Brigid which celebrates the growing strength of the God, still in His child form, as well as the return of the Maiden aspect of the Goddess. As their strength and light grow, we grow with them. It is a holiday of light and inspiration, a time when our path becomes more fixed, and the seeds that will grow later begin to stir within us. The Irish celebration of this festival was dedicated to the Goddess Brigid, a triple Goddess who represented inspiration, muse, healing, and the arts. It’s a time for inspiration, enterprise, new beginnings and growth.

Arkansas Emergency

There is a severe weather warning for all of the UK this weekend. Well we are still in the middle of the winter and Spring phase you I suppose you can't expect anything else. I have seen photos from all my blogging friends over the last few weeks of their surprise of huge amounds of snowfall, especially in areas of the world where it's just not normal. I must admit I wasn't duly concerned, I just thought..... Oh how wonderful and magical for them. When Ceri started storing up foods, I perhaps thought that they were all getting just a bit too cautious. That was I DID think that until a message came onto a board that I am a member of.

I have known Teri Martin for what must be near enough 15 or more years now and I subscribe to her Quote of the Day, which gives me a large amount of inspiration. I haven't had a Quote for a couple of days and just thought it was a glitch in the sending system.... that was until I received this email!

I have helpers monitoring the list, but when I will get back to you "in person" is still up in the air! I just managed to send this from out of state before returning home.You've probably heard that Arkansas is in bad shape::: NO Internet connection at all. People are freezing in their homes and evacuations are taking place to get them to somewhere with a generator. Electricity is out. Cable is out throughout a widespread area, don't know when it will it be up, so I will be offline when I get home at 10:30 tonight. We have a generator, so at least have have heat and refrigerator. BUT all stores are closed ==

NO food. Jim just told me we've been declared a national disaster.
Please pass this info to this list. Hopefully i will make it home safely.My purse was stolen night before last so it's been a rough 24 hours. I had over $400 in there, not counting my credit cards.. now all cancelled. OY. you can reach me through this earthlink address until 10:30 am pacific time.
hugs, teri

What a worry! And how easy we get complacent and take things for granted. Perhaps all the food hoarding is not suxh a bad idea after all.

Prepare for the worst, expect the best is what we all need to keep in mind I think.
My network of friends are lighting candles Teri, just want you to know we're thinking of you all.

UPDATE: And I've just found this link regarding 9 deaths due to the freezing temperatures http://www.todaysthv.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=79374&catid=2

And more news here http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5hxyhhC1qV6qWnOdkwks6C1HpYtPAD961JD5O0

UFO Footage

way, way behind with my blog updates. bust with work, chasing my arrrr eeerrrm.....but just had to stop on by with this.
To all believers and non believers alike, watch this clip of UFO's caught on camera...IN BROAD DAYLIGHT!
http://itn.co.uk/news/4edb543dc9584e1e6c5f61636c58a359.html

What do you think?

Amazing People Part 2 - Dave Hindmarsh

Every now and then, but not very often, someone comes into your life who makes a long lasting impression. This happened to me way back in 2000, not long after I had set up the studio in Darlington. His name was Dave Hindmarsh, a qualified chef, but also a fantastic poet with true feeling. He was gentle, caring, kind and with a wonderful sense of humour and positive outlook on life.

I was only reminiscing with a friend a few weeks ago about him, wondering where he was and how he was doing. I didn’t have to wait long….the following week she brought in this newspaper cutting:

Well, so now he was teaching people with learning difficulties at Middlesbrough College! Well, that surprises me not. With his type of personality and generous nature.

I also read that he has faced the challenge of a lifetime and has been involved with the Ben Fogel (who I did work for last year!) an explorer. The programme, Extreme Dreams, is on BBC2 every evening this week at 6.30pm. Dave suffered Trench Foot and was advised to give up….but he didn’t….well that’s no surprise either. He doesn’t do ‘Giving Up’. H’es far too optimistic and positive for that! I’m back in contact with him, looking forward to catching up and have asked his permission to publish a poem that he wrote, which I concerted to book form. So watch this space.

UK visitor to my blog:

Extreme Dreams - BBC 2 Monday to Friday 6.30pm

(Dave's the younger, good looking one - lol)

Lighting a candle

Lighting a candle for my grandmother who will be buried in Hull today. May your journey to the Summerlands be filled with light, for without you I would not be here.

And thinking of my mum at the special time. Love ya xxx

Earth Hour - March 28th at 8.30 p.m

PEOPLE POWER! Please pass this on....

On Saturday 28th March at 8.30pm millions of people around the world,individuals organisations and communities, will turn off their lightsfor one very important hour. Organised by the World Wildlife Fund, theaim is to inspire one billion people worldwide to give a demonstrationto world leaders of their concern about climate change and to ensurethat those leaders take positive action for the future.

Still I Rise

I’m reading a fascinating book at the moment by Dr. Susan Forward and Joan Torres, written way back in 1988 on the subject of mental, emotional and physical abuse. The men who do it and the women who love them. Although this book is aimed at women I know just as many men that suffer at the hands of women, who do virtually the same thing. It’s an emotional journey reading some of the case studies and the verbalisation that these men inflict on their partners to gain control. Quite an eye opener and hopefully it will prevent me from being attracted to this kind of man again.
It took me way back to a piece of work that I did when I first opened the studio in Darlington in 1999. The old studio had the ability to attract people in need of some sort of shoulder to lean on or someone to listen while they one after the other spilled their life stories. I am not a trained counsellor, nor would I want to be, but I have always had time and patience for those in need and I’m there with either the tissues or the cuppa or even a bed for the night.

It was a warm day and the woman fell into the studio in just this way. She looked bewildered, lost and in pain. She stood there (as did many) and shouted out that she could feel waves of energy running up her legs. She said she had never felt this before. We got her a chair, made her a cuppa and started to chat. She had no idea what I did in the studio as I worked upstairs, but as her story unfolded I listened to tell the about the most horrendous acts of mental and physical abuse that I had ever heard. She wept buckets and as the story went on I felt for a woman who was feeling the pain herself so badly, but this was not happening to her, it was happening to her daughter. A mothers pain and anguish that only another mother could understand. Eventually the tears dried up. Her daughter had found the courage to leave this poor excuse for a man (if he could call himself that) and she wanted something for her daughters new house that would give her strength to get over the suffering she had endured. I hugged her and told her to go away and have a think and the hugs and coffees were free at any time.

She returned a few days later, looking 10 years younger and this is what she gave me to write out:

Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom? '
Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard '
Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Maya Angelou

It was a huge piece of work. I never got a photograph of it but I did take a print done by a local architect with a scanner and printer large enough to take it.

I really must make an effort to do this piece again and donate copies to Women’s Centres around the country. So many people stay in abusive relationship, thinking that they can make things alright. The tactics used can take many years to heal…. Some never do. A couple of years later and just before I left Darlington, the lady turned up again. Her daughter was fine, had met an amazing guy who put her first, spent many hours building her confidence back up and they were expecting their first child. It just goes to show what is possible with the right man (or woman) behind you. In the wrong hands your life can be fatal!

With love to all victims of abuse and lighting a candle to give you strength to leave it behind and face the future with courage and strength. xxx

Remember - People who use abuse, verbal, emotional, mental or physical are insecure and the only way they can feel important and feed their own ego's is to try to control you and the way you behave. You are not alone. Many of us have fallen victim to this at some time in our lives. Do not feel isolated and do not be intimidated. If you would like the title of the book then please send me a private email where I will be happy to help. Email me at: opalsky2001 (at) yahoo (dot) co (dot) uk
It was printed in 1988 but I'm sure you would still be able to get a copy even if only from the library. I got mine second had and totally a coincidence - I certainly wasn't looking for it. Funny how these things fond you sometimes.

My 2009 Wish List

I didn't publish this at the beginning of the year.... but want to share it with you. for all those sceptic that don't believe in what you get is equal to what you put out there....take a look at this. The list consists of some (would prefer to keep a couple private - you never know who's reading this blog - lol) but the ones highlighted in red are the ones that have happened already and the ones in green are semi sorted so far! Ahhhh the joys of positive thinking.

1) Grow my own veg - YEAH! I heard last weekend that me and 4 friends with the same idea have been given a plot FOUR the size of the ground floor area of my house! And all for FREE! We have a couple of strong, fit, guys who are part of this group and who are willing and keen to do the heaviest work, then we're ready to go! We plan to grow organicallyy and as naturally as possible, Should keep me busy!

2) Find and Join 3 local, social networking groups to meet people with the same outlook and interests in life - Well, I;ve joined 2 which fell at my feet, didn't need to look for them. First meeting next month and a lovely guy has given me his mobile in case I get lost - lol

3) Travel Alone more often - One of the greatest difficulties when you loose your sight is the need to have to rely on people. Your self esteem and self confidence takes a sever bashing. Only by facing our fears can we conquer them. Many people do not drive, so I am not alone there, but I really would like to be at least confident enough to go places alone if necessary. Although I still believe that things are better done in two's or as a group. Hopefully my meeting with one of the groups listed in no. 2 above will see me beating this fear.

4) Visit Glastonbury, my spiritual home at least twice this year.
Well already got a visit planned in the near future with a friend who has never been there and is keen to take me there. I'm sure we'll both get a lot out of the experience :o)

5) Reconnect with old friends - How easy we loose touch when in a relationship and focus on that as the most important thing. Ironic, but these people have contacted me, totally out of the blue - It's good to hear from them again, proving that while our lives take very separate paths sometimes, true friends are there for life. We have basically reconnected where we left off. Great news!

6) To decorate the house and shift the crap -I need to have a grand clear out of things from my past lives. At the end of any relationship there are reminders that need to go to make way for the new. I don't want someone elses clutter, clogging up my home and my spirit! Photos, gifts and reminders have to go. I'm on my way with this one. Bad chi in my book!

And I have had offers of help on this one. I used to love decorating, but poor vision makes it impossible to paint without catching the ceiling and skirting boards. I've got help whenever I need it so I figure if I paint the walls myself, then someone will come and do the glossing.

7) Hold an exhibition -

8) Gain 3 new outlets for my work - Well I've got 1

9) Live a more Eco-Friendly and natural way of life, therefor being true to my Pagan Path - This will probably now fit in with my Organic Gardening bit and other projects in the pipeline.
Surely this is what being a Pagan really is? Well, I think so.

10) Make 3 new friends - Well I've made 2 new friends already. we'll have to see how many more come along. I'm a sociable person so people are important to me. My belief is there's no such thing as too many friends but to have a friend you have to be one!

The other wishes are private, and just between me and my closest friends. If I can achieve half the things I set out for this year I will consider it a job well done. Seems like I'm well on the way!

At the moment I feel like I've got a spring in my step, more energy than ever before and more time and freedom to do the things I truly want to do. My focus is on my business and my life....and I'm loving every minute of it. I feel a buzz in the air and it's not even Spring yet! Bring it on!